


Another Year (Sorry)

by dollcloud



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F, Way too many paragraph breaks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 21:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7378567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollcloud/pseuds/dollcloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Homura's twelfth time attempting to save Madoka, and she is getting tired.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Year (Sorry)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone during a 12-hour bus trip coming back from DC with my school class. So, as you might guess, it's kind of messy and out-of-character...

One year had passed for Homura. Of course, to everyone else, it seemed like just another month, as long as every April before. 

To her, though, it was the twelfth repeat of the most horrid 30 days of her life. She had tried twelve different approaches, made thousands of different decisions each time, but here she was, at the end of another arc, lying in rain-swelled mud next to a half-dead girl in a school uniform.

With a sigh, she turns the dial back, cries for just a few seconds, and then paces around her hospital room. A ballpoint pen lies on the table, almost worn down, and the girl uses this to mark off the twelfth tally on the back of her wrist.

\---

Today is the day she transfers. It is certainly not the first time, and she has memorized the technique for both her opening bow and the polynomial the teacher will surely make her solve later.

For now, however, Homura stands in the entrance of the classroom, and focuses first on her dearest friend, who hasn't met her yet, a slightly flustered girl in the third row, and then drifts her gaze to the blue-haired one sitting next to her. Madoka & Sayaka, she recalls.

It's time, now, for a bow. A greeting, calm and simple-- "Hello. My name is Akemi Homura. I am honored to transfer into this school- Thank you-"

This time it’s a bit too long, for the teacher cuts her off with a simple “Thank you.”, leaving several milliseconds of awkward silence. Madoka is staring at her, hands clasped and smiling. At least, Homura hopes that she's smiling. She blushes, just a bit, and moves to the back of the room towards the seat assigned for her. 

It saddens Homura-- just a little bit, that is-- that this ordeal has hardened her, and she no longer is as awkward, of course, but she is still gloomy and closed-off and she sometimes stutters. She thinks that Madoka would have liked the softer girl more, but c'est la vie.

\---

The class spreads out a few minutes later. It's break, and kids are already clustered around the transfer student. Madoka pushes through them. Oh, that’s right, the other girl recalls, it must be time for her visit to the nurse.

"Hello! My name is Madoka. I'm the nurse's assistant, and she told me to- ah- escort you there-"

"Thank you.", Homura replies, "I had almost forgotten."

The two girls walk out of the classroom in line. Madoka remarks on the other girl's quick strides-- "Oh, it seems like you know the way pretty well already!"

She does. She has walked this way to the nurse’s office hundreds of times, three times each day of the month, and it is going to be stuck in her memory forever. 

The nurse's helper looks at her in the eyes- she is sure of this- and laughs nervously. 

Homura, in the most confident voice she can muster, comments: "You're very pretty." 

Madoka stares at her again, for a slightly different reason.

"Ah! Of course I don't mean to be, um, creepy- I'm sorry, Kaname." 

Her old personality hasn't completely gone yet. What an awkward thing to say. 

"No, no, it's fine. Thank you, Akemi."

She stutters. "You can call me Homura. It's- it's really fine, Kaname."

\---

Twenty minutes have passed and the girls are standing outside of their homeroom. Madoka is fidgeting, and she turns to Homura as she opens the door.

"Akemi- Homura, sorry- Would you be alright with eating lunch with me? I'm sure Sayaka would be okay with it, and I didn't know if you know anyone else here..."

"Thank you for your offer, Kaname."- she pushes open the classroom door- "I would love that. I'll be waiting for you." 

The last sentence is spoken awkwardly, and Homura wrings her wrist in embarrassment. She's learning to hide her feelings a bit better, although she can't help but realize that this timeline's Madoka is just a tiny bit- just a tiny bit, really not anything to worry about- less receptive to her. It just means that she needs to try harder.

"Ah- okay- thank you." Madoka closes the door behind her and takes her seat in class. They don’t talk again until lunch. 

Homura feels worse now. She draws Madoka smiling in the margins of her maths sheet, along with two worms and a military-grade missile launcher.

\---

It's lunchtime, and Homura is sitting on the far side of the lunch table she was invited to. Sayaka and Madoka sit opposite her, each holding their lunch trays. Today's special is soft noodles, a boiled egg, a cup of miso soup, and some vegetables piled in the corner. Actually, they served this yesterday, too, and the day before, but Madoka is just glad to eat with friends.

A friend? Sayaka has known Madoka for ages, and they feature in each other's childhood photos as well as the flower garden they planted together in Madoka's yard when they were five. 

Two friends? Madoka has never net Homura before, but she feels... familiar. If someone had told her that the two had talked every day for the past few years, she would not be surprised. 

However, they've only had one conversation, and Madoka does not feel like she knows the other girl well... enough. She was curt but didn't seem completely cold, and- ah-

A tap on the shoulder awakens her. It's Homura again- "Excuse me, Kaname. I think I'm ready for my second round of medications. I can escort myself to the nurse-"

"Oh no, I'm sorry- I'll walk you there right now. Would you like some of my lunch? Do you need me to get you one? I-" 

"I can walk on my own. And I have a bagged lunch.", Homura clears her throat, "I wanted to make sure that you know where I was. Thank you." 

The pink-haired one coughs and turns to Sayaka. "Be safe please, Homura."

She leaves the classroom, boots click-click-clacking on the tile floor. Her hair's tied up into two loose braids, and she removed the hair tie and leaves it in her pocket. It's more comfortable this way, and maybe- just maybe- Madoka will think it looks cooler.

\---

"She's a real joy, huh, Madoka?" Homura’s gone now, and Sayaka has moved over so that she can sit closer to her friend.

"Umm..."

"I can see her being popular, but I think she could afford to be less gloomy."

"Excuse me, Madoka?" Sayaka is more insistent this time. 

"Daydreaming about your c-" 

"I'm fine. I was just busy thinking." 

Madoka takes another sip of her soup, and Homura comes back to the table with a brown bag. She takes out a tray of chocolate cookies and places them on the table, motioning for the other girls to take them.

"I don't need these. Take as many as you'd like."

The tray remains untouched, and Sayaka laughs. "She doesn't like accepting food from other people, sorry. I'll gladly take them, though."

"Go ahead. It's fine."

"Thanksss."

\---

School ends, and Madoka and Sayaka walk out of the west wing of the school with umbrellas in hand. The rain is pouring and pouring- an ambulance rushes past, and rain has begun to puddle around their feet.

"Sorry, Madoka. I have extra classes to attend, for the school's fair-- I signed up for some boring-as-shit decoration job."

She pauses for a few minutes.

"Be safe walking home. It's raining pretty hard." She looks around. “Give me a call if you need anything.”

"Goodbye, Sayaka! See you tomorrow."

As she turns to leave towards home, someone brushes up against her. A transfer student. It's Homura, wearing a soaked-through school uniform and completely, totally sopping wet, with no umbrella in sight.

"Kaname-san. Is it okay if I join you on the walk home?"

"Yes, of course." Her voice pauses for a second. "Wait, why do you know where I- nevermind. I'd be glad to accompany you." She bows slightly. "Do you want to use my umbrella, Homura?" 

"No, thank you, Kaname."

The walk continues as it always does. The rain has pooled in great long winding rivers that streak down the streets, with blossoms and newspapers being carried down along with them.

Madoka sighs. "It's quite a storm... are you sure you're alright, Homura?"

"Yes, yes, Kaname, I'm fine." She walks up to the other girl and puts her small, shivering hand in hers, which is almost too wet to hold. "You're cold." 

"Y-yes. It's not too bad."

\---

Twenty minutes later, Madoka turns into a small store by the side of the road. It's rustic, crowded and cluttered but empty, and its warmth provides ample protection from the storm.

"Do you always come here?" Homura is standing near one of the self-service atms tucked into the corner of the store. A fridge is lined against the west wall, stocked with steamed pork buns, oden, and seasoned rice balls.

"No... I thought it would be nice for you to see. I wanted to let you take a break from the rain, too." Madoka laughs, shallow but happy. 

"Thank you, Kaname-san." 

Cheap porn magazines cover the east wall, only broken by a refrigerator full of cut flowers. Homura flips through the magazines and then picks a few wilted roses from the freezer.

\---

They're outside now. Homura hands the roses, 100 ¥ each, to Madoka. She thanks her and takes the four blossoms in one shivering hand and her umbrella in the other.

"That reminds me- Homura- I got you something!" She smiles so wide and the other girl's heart begins to ache, a big, thick ache, like a trident driven through her. 

She almost cries, but the rain washes off her tears, so it's nothing. 

Madoka hands her an umbrella, transparent with red heart patterns striped across it. "You didn't have one of your own, so I thought...."

Homura gets ahold of herself and manages to smile. It's a great, big, mouth-open smile, and her mouth is full of rainwater. 

"Thank you, Kaname. Thank you."

\---

They arrive at Madoka's house within the next few minutes. The rain has somewhat tapered off, so Homura says goodbye.

"Excuse me, Homura, may I ask where you live? You said that it was near here, so I-"

"It's on the other side of town. Block 62."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea"- Madoka gasps just a little bit- "Sorry to pull you so far off your route." 

"I just wanted to talk to you more. It’s lonely walking home alone."

Homura shuts the door behind her. 

\---

Homura's alarm rings once, twice, and then she rights herself and gathers her supplies for the school day.

She has three regrets about the previous day;  
1) Not mentioning anything about Kyuubey to Madoka, who, without doubt, will meet Mami and become a Puella Magi herself before she can be stopped.  
2) Not being just a bit nicer, in hopes of becoming closer to Madoka this time.  
3) Not buying her prettier roses, because the ones she'd purchased were wilted and sad. 

It's a twenty minute walk to school, and she arrives half-an-hour earlier to homeroom. Several students are milling around, including Madoka, who waves. Today she has yellow hair ribbons, which look lovely with her hair. After a quick trip to the nurse for medication, Homura is back- she walks over to the pink-haired girl and pulls up a desk next to her. 

"I need to talk to you, Madoka."

"Of course..." She looks just a bit concerned, but she's blushing.

Homura is clenching her fist so hard that her hand is red and swollen. She stayed up until midnight last night planning this conversation. It will sound awful, so awkward, sudden, rude, but she doesn't see another choice. 

Sitting next to Madoka now, Homura takes a sip from her berry tea and wipes her hands on one of the school’s oshibori.

"Has Tomoe talked to you about- !" Homura speaks first.

"Tomoe Mami? I know her quite well." Madoka's face is brighter than it was yesterday. "I was planning on seeing her after classes today- wait, talked about what?!"

"..."

Twenty-seven seconds of silence. Homura counts.

"Magica- excuse me, do you know about them? The Puella Magi?"

"Yes." 

Homura stirs the tea she brought with her twice, unzips and zips up her backpack, and then sighs, pretending to ignore Madoka's expression.

She's happy. Oh so happy. 

"I was thinking about... well..." Her next words are stuttered. She fiddles with her hair and taps the desk in a set pattern- she’s excited, of course.

Madoka is stuttering. She folds her hands in and out. The cool, mysterious, pretty (she blushes) transfer student is another magical girl? Her new tutor, perhaps? Maybe-

For a few seconds, she imagines them shooting through labyrinths, defeating every witch with a single shot. They are beautiful, infinite.

"I thought it would be nice to help people... to become a-" Madoka trails off, and the other girl clenches her teeth.

(I love you so much, Madoka. I love you. Already.)

(I don't want you to die.)

"Please don't." Homura's spoon hits the desk once, twice. She's fidgeting again. 

Madoka's eyes widen and she clenches her jaw. "Ahhh..."

Homura gets up, holding her cold tea in one hand and a bouquet of fresh, lovely red roses. She places the bouquet on the table.

"If you value this world... please don't throw it away for a wish." 

Please no.

\---

Sayaka moves next to a stunned Madoka. Homura's chair is empty.

"How is Mrs. Creep? Did she propose already?"

Sayaka is laughing, joking. School is nearing a close, and their teacher has stopped assigning the loads of work they are usually hit with. It's a perfect time to relax, but... 

"It's not like that..." Another blush.

"Come on, you are sooooo in love. Roses? Really?"

\---

Three hours later, Madoka decides to get some snacks from the corner store. They have a break for thirty minutes, and there's no reason to stay in the classroom.

It's not raining today. The sky is cloudy but the air feels free, and the trees are dripping with dew. Drowned worms lie in the sidewalk cracks. 

Two taps on her shoulder, and Homura is beside her again. She looks apologetic, and she is holding a packet of rice crackers. 

"Do you want some?"

"If you don't mind..." 

She pulls out three from the package and places them on her tongue. "Thank you so much."

"And I was meaning to bring up what you said earlier-"

"I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about it."

Homura rubs her forehead and begins to pick at loose strands of hair. The truth is that she is far too guilty about ruining Madoka's aspirations, but there's no point.

As if to remind her, Madoka's blood-stained face pushes itself to the front of her memories, begging her- Please, I don't want to make the contract- Go back and make sure I don't- Please-

\---

On the walk home-- in the right direction this time-- Homura's phone beeps twice. Madoka, who exchanged phone numbers with her after lunch today, has sent her several messages.

Her heart is racing. Please- 

MADOKA: Hello, Homura. (＠＾－＾)

MADOKA: I wanted to tell you that I'm going on several witch-hunts with Mami to make sure that I want to make this wish.

MADOKA: I though about your warning, and Mami told me you were right. 

MADOKA: Also, I was wondering if you would be around after school tomorrow? I would love to invite you over for tea.

MADOKA: (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

Sigh.

Homura shields her face with her cellphone- Madoka is so, so sweet, and she's being careful, I hope she's alright, I hope- 

HOMURA: Thank you, Kaname.

HOMURA: I am glad that you took my warning seriously.

HOMURA: I don't want to see you hurt. It's a very dangerous thing to do.

MADOKA: If I can ask, what was your wish? 

MADOKA: You told me that you were a Puella Magi yesterday, so... It's okay if you don't want to tell me.

MADOKA: If it is personal (*/_＼)

(Yes, I don't want to see you hurt ever again. You don't deserve this.)

HOMURA: ...

HOMURA: You'll see.

HOMURA: See you tomorrow.


End file.
